Diary

Summer has arrived, and I’ve been waking up quite early in the mornings, unable to fall back asleep, which feels a bit uncomfortable. After studying briefly in the morning, I felt drowsy again. Tomorrow, Xiaoyi has an interview with the Emergency Management Bureau, so he came to stay at Niuwa’s place tonight. We had a meal together and went to find Deng Ya and the others. In the evening, Huanhuan’s house was filled with relatives. I called and messaged her, but she didn’t respond promptly. I knew she was once again facing pressure from all those relatives, and there was nothing I could do about it. ...

After sharing my emotionally draining thoughts with Huanhuan last night, I felt much calmer today. Recently, I’ve started leaning toward hoping that the CSC (China Scholarship Council) will reject my funding application. There are two main reasons for this: First, I can already foresee that the next few years abroad would likely be quite painful, and because of this, the prolonged lack of a stable job has been weighing on me for a long time. Second, I’ve begun to fear the prospect of long-term separation from my loved ones, family, and friends. ...

A few days ago, my older brother went to Henan for a university classmate’s wedding. Yesterday afternoon, he called me to share what he had learned, mainly about the cost-effectiveness of studying abroad, the difficulties of studying overseas, the challenges of growing older, and the situation after returning to China. I was already aware of these things, but hearing him reiterate them made me even more anxious. Last night, when I video-called Huanhuan, I sensed she seemed a bit down. I asked her what was wrong, but she said it was nothing. ...

Xiaoyi was coming to Shuicheng today and sent me a message early in the morning saying she was about to arrive. I got up, took a shower, and quickly cooked a bowl of noodles for breakfast. I packed a zongzi (sticky rice dumpling) for her and headed out. Today, we were going to the Emergency Management Bureau for a qualification review. After finishing the review around noon, I took her to try some xiaoguojuan (a local rolled snack) and Yuan Kun’s mutton rice noodles. After that, she returned to Guiyang. On my way home, I bought some waxberries and, upon seeing a vendor selling bamboo shoots, picked up two as well. ...

This morning, my mom called and told me to go to the sports center tomorrow morning to eat stewed goose. I really didn’t want to go, but my second aunt and my sister Lian kept nagging nonstop on the other end of the line, making it impossible to refuse. I quickly got up, cooked a bowl of noodles, and shared some with Xiaohuanhuan. Then, I prepared the materials for tomorrow’s qualification review while Huanhuan helped me wash the dishes and tidy up neatly. ...

Today was a very special day. Huanhuan and I played *Split fiction all day long, skipping breakfast. Suddenly, hot dogs appeared in the game, making us crave them so badly that Huanhuan quickly steamed two zongzi for us to eat. As it got dark, we went out for a walk, thinking about buying some delicious grilled sausages. But we couldn’t find any. There was a single dried-out one at a Meiyijia convenience store, but we didn’t buy it. ...

I stayed up late last night just to tinker with my phone’s TTS and text-to-speech functions. Before I knew it, it was past 1 a.m., and I knew most of the morning would be wasted. Around 8 a.m., the Emergency Management Bureau called for a qualification review, so I quickly cleared my throat and answered. After that, I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I got up, took a shower, did the laundry, and made breakfast. ...