Dear Zhu Zhu,

It’s been a long, long time since I last wrote to you. Recently, we read Mr. Lao She’s “On Writing” together, but my flaws and habits still need improvement. I hope that each letter I write to you from now on will show a little progress! This letter has taken a long time to write, and the longer I spent on it, the more I wanted to add new things. So, just take a casual look at it.

Time flies, and we are about to face many opportunities and choices. Over these past few months, we’ve shared countless late-night video calls—whether quiet, argumentative, or filled with laughter—each moment ordinary yet precious to us. A while ago, I saw how disheartened and hardworking you were while applying for the CSC, staying up late and falling ill. I wanted to be there for you in every moment, to hold you close. I remember one night when my eyes suddenly welled up with tears. I felt sad because I couldn’t help you with the problems you were facing. As you mentioned in your last letter, our states of mind affect each other. So, I want to be there for you whenever you need me, even if we just sit quietly together for a while. Zhu Zhu, regarding studying abroad, even if there’s only the slightest chance, we shouldn’t give up, because this could be the spark that defines your life. If it doesn’t work out this year, there will be opportunities in the future, and I will support you just as I do now. So, please don’t be afraid; I’m here to face it with you.

Recently, I found myself caught in an emotional whirlpool. I started questioning, “Am I good enough for you?” “How can our relationship last?” “How can I keep up with you?” During those days, I was consumed by self-doubt, and the fear of the unknown future gradually clouded my vision and numbed my feelings. I am an extremely conflicted and timid person, imagining separation in every moment of joy. I truly believe in the love that flows between us, but I also automatically prepare myself for countless scenarios where it might dissolve into bubbles, building walls around my heart. Zhu Zhu, thank you for patiently listening to me and replying to my letter, which has greatly healed me. This has been a tremendous encouragement for me. Through our time together, I’ve gradually learned to relax in front of you, to try to depend on you, and to slowly integrate you into my life. I revisited our letters to find answers. From the very beginning of our relationship, you’ve given me a sense of complete security. Every time, it was you who mustered the courage to come closer to me, so all my assumptions were unfounded. Now, all we need to do is boldly open our arms to embrace each other and breathe deeply. Zhu Zhu, please forgive my occasional panic; it’s just a stubborn, clumsy reaction.

As for the future and the possibility of being apart, whether near or far, I believe we will both work hard and grow roots in our respective fields. Although I’m not entirely sure what I want to do, just like before, I want to try whatever comes to mind without fearing the outcome. Zhu Zhu, being with you has highlighted my shortcomings, but I also look forward to my own growth. The best way to ease my anxiety is to take action—whether it’s reading, studying, exercising… As long as we’re making progress every day, there’s nothing to fear. I really want to see what the future holds for us together.

Zhu Zhu, the results of your application might just be a fork in the road in the grand scheme of our lives, but…What I desire is to walk alongside you, no matter where your chosen path may lead. You are never a lone adventurer, but a soul deeply enveloped in love.

To conclude with the words from “Loving You is Like Loving Life”: “I give you my entire soul, along with its quirks, its little tantrums, its flickering light and shadow, and its eighteen hundred flaws. It’s truly annoying, but it has one redeeming quality—it loves you.”

Zhu Zhu, thank you for loving the complete me!

With love,
Huan Huan
March 4, 2025