Dear Huan,
Recently, our exchanges through letters have become fewer, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Most of the time, we’re able to openly and sincerely share our thoughts with each other. However, there are things that our clumsy tongues can’t quite express—words on paper still carry a unique power.
Lately, I’ve noticed that something seems off with you. I’ve asked you about it, and your response was that you’re worried about the upcoming separation we’ll soon face.
That’s something I think about every day, too. But with you, I’ve also detected another subtle shift—something about the feeling of love, or the lack thereof.
From our conversations, I sense that you might feel the love between us is fading. You’ve started to interpret moments—like when I don’t glance at you for a few seconds because my phone is in my hand—as signs that I’ve changed. And I, too, have noticed that our conversations aren’t as frequent as before, that perhaps you’re sharing a little less with me.
Recently, I’ve been making a conscious effort to go to bed earlier after a period of late nights. I think it’ll be better for both our mental states. But every night when I say goodnight to you, I can’t help but pick up on your low spirits.
In those moments, I wonder: Is she thinking that I don’t want to talk to her anymore? Neither of us wants to hang up, but the night is indeed late. You have to work hard every day, and if I stay up too late, I’ll feel drained and my eyes will ache. So, almost always, I’m the one who suggests ending the call. It seems like such a tiny thing, but I imagine someone as sensitive as you might overthink it.
Solving small problems is both simple and hard. If we were together, there’d be no room for unnecessary thoughts or issues. The difficulty lies in the reality that we can’t be together every day, and so these things arise.
Additionally, my recent semi-reclusive lifestyle means I might not have as much to share, but I still want to stay connected with you as much as possible, especially when you have free time. Your friends, studies, and other commitments are important too, and I always try to show full respect for them—but that doesn’t mean I don’t care.
I believe the bond between us hasn’t weakened—at least, not on my end. In fact, you’ve become the vast majority of my social time.
Change and constancy are both objective truths. We must pay attention to what shifts, but we must also hold tightly to what remains eternal.
Love,
Zhuzhu
May 30, 2025, Night
The night is quiet, with only the occasional whisper of the wind brushing past the window. The dim glow of streetlights filters through the curtains, casting faint shadows on the walls.
Time slips away unnoticed, like grains of sand between fingers. The world outside is hushed, as if holding its breath in anticipation of something unknown. Thoughts drift aimlessly, carried by the stillness of the hour.
Perhaps this is the essence of night—a moment suspended between yesterday and tomorrow, a fleeting pause in the relentless march of time.
May 30, 2025, night.